After the rain, the horizon is still not so clear.

Rainy days. Inspirational and numbing all the same.

Just a few weeks before Planet Comicon. And I find myself in a hell of a creative slump once again. It's not about finding the inspiration to keep creating as much as it is to keep on creating.

To keep myself motivated, I've been vlogging, recording and producing short time lapse videos of my one off originals.

Thank you to all of you that have watched and enjoyed these little videos.

I've done a lot of this to myself, in regards to being far more analytical and observant about my creative process. See, in documenting through video, thinking about what I am doing as an artist, and WHY I am making art, it's had a side effect where walls of self doubt and seas of self deprecation clash, all the while a small canoe with my self esteem and self worth attempts to not capsize.

New "HellBot" digital work. Just 10 of these large ones. Numbered, signed, debuting at Planet Comicon.

But in these moments of insecurity, I've had moments that helped raise me up out of some doldrums. I recently started teaching with the art education group Young Rembrandts. Getting back into grade school classrooms, but this time as the teacher, has been both intimidating and enlightening.

Watching them work on the lesson I was instructing was such a mental and emotional high.

I went through some heavy firsts in this. I had taught before at alternative schools and with the volunteer based Scribblers program, which were invaluable, but because I had been going through all of that self judgment, I was actually not totally sure that I would be able to pull off instructing these kids.

I thankfully was incorrect. And I learned a great deal just in this first class of twenty plus students, from them, and my assistant teacher Marcia (who came with a formidable background of many many years of teaching). The kids warmed up to us quickly, and to hear and see them making art, started chipping away at a lot of my self doubt.

But if I thought that this was the only confrontation I would have with my newly unearthed armada of issues with my creative side, I was wrong. Later in the week, I had volunteered to join up with a few poets at KKFI to read some of my own prose, and formulate the foundation for a new bit of programming based on poetry discussions.

I was pleased to say that my fellow poets (whom gave me enough bravery after our initial meeting by immediately setting me at ease about using the label), and I had a lot of fun recording a 15 minute segment over the course of three plus hours. We read our own works, and each other's, spoke about life, you know, things that I may vlog about, but in this case, became a treasure so much more rarefied in the bond we all shared that Saturday afternoon.

I am sincerely looking forward to the next recording session.

One thing I had promised myself was to reach beyond boundaries and comfort zones professionally and creatively. I know I am just scratching the surface.

Not being "officially" full time employed has definitely been the most powerful aspect of that. It's sobering. It's stressful. It's liberating. It's got it's blessings. It's got it's pitfalls.

The deception of life is prominent.

But not unlike that little robin's egg that had fallen from my oak tree, some things can happen where life and choices are cut short. I had hoped to maybe get the egg back into it's nest, but upon turning the egg over, the facade was broken as quickly as the shell had been upon falling from the nest.

I watch more sunsets now than I have in years.

I know that I am going through a rough patch. It happens. It's not easy for anyone around me for any extended amount of time.

But it doesn't rain all the time. And just like the moments in class, or with old friends and new, the sun does finally come out, and with it, the warmth and familiarity of things.

Thanks for reading. I am so very grateful for the subscriptions and views on my blog and videos.

Until next time, support your local artists, be kind to your fellow beings, and always take the path less traveled!

- Mario, the Artisan Rogue
Illustrator, Podcaster, Writer, Toy Collector, and Animal Rights Activist

www.theartisanrogue.com